What's Missing

I don't mean to harp on the autism thing. Really, I don't. I know it sounds like I am whining, when actually we are very lucky to be making such great progress. Still, we have been perplexed from time to time over the past year by some of the reactions of people around us. So, here goes:

Imagine if you will falling in love. Like truly, madly, deeply, desperately in love. A star-crossed, soul-mate sort of thing. Now imagine one day after a few years of blissful happiness together you wake up to find somebody else beside you. Someone who looks very much like the person you fell in love with, but with an entirely different personality. Cranky, unpredictable, less verbal, harder to reach. What's more, you find that this has been happening at an alarming rate to people all over the country and nobody knows why. You are confused, frightened and sad. Yet people all around you, people who get to keep living their own lives as normal, keep saying things to you like "look on the bright side," "be grateful for what you have," "how can you tell?", and "he seems fine to me." 

Maybe this person next to you is a great person - someone you could easily fall in love with, even. That's not the point. The point is it's not the same person. No matter how much you love this new person in his place, wouldn't you still be a little sad about the person you lost? Wouldn't you still want to know what happened? Wouldn't you still look for him?

Now, imagine this is your child.