4.08.2008

We almost lost Thumper

What happened was, Thumper and I had made the trek to the cake decorating store in Berkeley for the special cupcake papers for NSSDs 40th birthday party on Saturday. They ended up not having the papers I wanted so it was an almost wasted trip, but I picked up some sprinkles and a pastry box big enough to transport 75 cupcakes and was on my way out the door when the unwieldy piece of cardboard wrapped itself around a string of jingle bells hanging from the door handle. I turned to free myself and the box from the door and when I turned back around Thumper and his stroller were nowhere to be seen. After frantically glancing up and down the street, I finally spotted the bright green Bob overturned in the middle of University Avenue. There was no movement or crying, and instantly I knew that the it had been struck by a car and that Thumper was dead or, at the very least, suffering from a severe head trauma. I darted over and righted the stroller to reveal Thumper, securely strapped in, unscathed, and completely unaffected by it all. In reality, it was fortunate that the stroller had capsized as it went over the curb since it had kept him from proceeding far enough out into the street to be in any real danger. A few more feet and he would have been a goner.

After I had rescued him from the wayward stroller, showered him with kisses, and checked and rechecked his carseat before heading off to the next errand, I started to think about a story I had heard a few years ago about an incident that was captured on a security camera. A woman was running to beat a train at the crossing while carrying her baby in a car carrier. At the last minute she decided she wouldn't make it and stopped, however the carrier kept moving forward from momentum and swung out in front of the train just as it passed. I didn't see the video myself, and the story is horrendous enough that I would like to believe that it is an urban myth. It doesn't matter, though, the image that I have conjured up in my head is stuck there forever and whenever I think about it my heart hurts as if it was my baby, and my moment to wish I could take back. None of us is impervious to mistakes or moments of sheer stupidity. I am acutely aware of all of the times I forgot to buckle Bear's seatbelt or turned my back for a minute too long, and I shudder to think of what could have happened. Life is full of almosts and near misses. Luckily for me almost doesn't count.

We headed on to the grocery store for cake mixes, and as we left the checker asked me if I needed any help out. For a moment I imagined Thumper in the grocery cart, careening down the steep parking lot and spilling out onto Redwood Road, perhaps gaining enough forward momentum to make it all the way to Taco Bell. I took a deep breath. "No thanks" I said, taking a firm grip on the cart. "I can handle it."

A bang up job.

My hairdresser left me. True, he was only my stylist for a year, and it was at least 12 years ago that he moved to New York, but the pain is real and I have never really gotten past it and moved on with my life. Oh, I have had other hairdressers since then, some of them reasonably good, but none have made it past the second cut. No one has been able to take the place of Glen. None have had that magical way of delivering the perfect, stylish, maintenance-free haircut that he did.

For the past 12+ years, I have been looking for that perfect hairstyle that will change my life. The problem has been that I won't trust a new hairstylist with a major change, and I haven't stuck with any stylist long enough to trust her. Instead, I put off getting a cut until the situation becomes an emergency, then head off to whomever I managed to find that can cut my hair on a Saturday on short notice, ending up with another mediocre cut.

I am not sure what got into me a couple of weeks ago when I decided to use the occasion of visiting my parents to get a cut at the walk-in place at the local mall. I am also not sure what I was thinking when I asked for a complicated, layered style with bangs (which I haven't had since the hairstylist in Italy who thought he would do the uncultured american a favor and send me home with hair an inch long.) I should have known better when she looked at the picture I showed her and frowned for several seconds. When she said "I'll be right back" and disappeared into the back room for over 5 minutes, I should have run for the hills. I don't know why I have such a hard time trusting my instincts. Instead, I stayed, naively and optimistically believing that what I would get would be somewhat similar to what I had asked for. After all, this woman was trained to cut hair, was she not? How bad could it be?

I will tell you how bad it could be: First, she cut the back of my hair to the correct length, while cutting the front an inch too short on one side and 2 inches too short on the other. Then, instead of soft, blended layers, she cut a thick, blunt, choppy shelf 2/3 of the way around my head. It was a comical, exaggerated, sitcom version of a bad haircut. It looked like a practical joke. And here is the best part: when I went back to complain to the manager, the woman who had cut it came over to defend herself, telling me I had the wrong kind of hair for that style.

After a week of wearing my hair in a ponytail, I finally got up the courage to have it fixed. I tracked down a highly recommended salon and managed to get a next-day appointment. A perfectly nice person named Amber did what she could with what was left of my hair. She managed to blend the layers so I don't look like I had had an accident with farming equipment. She did what she could do even up the sides. She had a lot to work with, and in the end I think it is just going to have to grow out for a couple of month before it will look decent again. So it is back in a pony tail for the forseeable future. Lesson learned - no more mall cuts.

The bangs do look cute, though.